We Live in Heaven?!

I often consider the notion of "The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand." I can't remember how old I was when the concepts of Heaven, Limbo, Purgatory, and Hell as taught to me while a Catholic child crystallized as current reality. All of our intellectual attempts to capture something beyond the intellect has caused us to look upon these concepts as literal experiences which occur after this life time. My assertion is that while they are literal they are not something we enter into later, after death. We are in one of these states each moment of our life. What's more? Our ego sits on the judgment seat - truly a frightening thought.

Each moment we sentence ourselves to indifference, anger, resentment, avarice, jealousy, injustice, and suffering - or release ourselves into the splendid surrender of What Is, embracing Its peace and receiving Its love. When we are unaware of the impermanence of our state of suffering, it transforms into the misery and torments of Hell itself. An illusion of relief is gained through substance abuse and/or physical addictions, which deepens our proclivity toward the negative dynamic. The ironic part of this is that it is all temporary, while being experienced as eternal (no end in sight).

The dread and fear triggered by our perception of this as an eternal state deepens and intensifies, leading to ill advised acts devoid of wisdom, self and common good. From here, we reach out to wound others righteously as we claw to a less painful state. Hence Hell is perpetuated, perhaps even increased here and now, spreading through our own social network. It is not the target of our ire who twists in our cruelty, but us! As we nurture our wounds by indulging in visions of an enemy's suffering we are pleasantly unaware that we are that victim.

My discovery and experience of God, as embodied by the dimensions of Parent, Child, and Spirit (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) as wholly compassionate and devoid of guile is always particularly moving. It was through this Love that I began to be able to distinguish even the state I was in (suffering, temporary relief, essence of bliss), thus reality itself. It was later that I began to see that I could accept responsibility for my current state and create a new experience from there. Mind you, this is still a work in progress!

With the ability to distinguish who I am as distinct from the victim of some misery, I came to appreciate that forgiveness benefited me, rather than the person to whom it was internally directed. In the last 10 years, that discovery has deepened and it becomes rarer that I seek to punish in my imagination those whom I believe have wronged me. In the context of spreading Heaven throughout my network, forgiveness is essential. In that sense, my private forgiveness or letting go, benefits all whom I know and speak with.

In contrast to this is my tendency to succumb to defensiveness and hostility when someone breaks my personal "code" of behavior, even if I provoked them. My ego again rises to the throne of judgment and the righteous torment I direct toward them pulls us both into our private Hells. Sigh.

I've been reading Ekhart Tolle's book, "A New Earth." I'm finding it amazing as it eloquently addresses these dynamics. My prayer is that I become more joined with my divine essence and less with the compulsions of my ego. My prayer is that I remain a vessel of love, wisdom inspired action, healing, and happiness for all whom I encounter - and that my ego bows to serve the Essence common to all creation.